Thursday, November 15, 2007


I just read from Amy that I have been tagged...which is exciting because I feel like I am part of something bigger than my little ole house and family of five in this big networked world...I guess I am supposed to write six things about myself...This should be fun since I LOVE myself!!! Before I begin I think I will write them all down so I can pick them in order of best to least best (or least best to decide) and I LOVE the process of organizing things.
Okay, first- I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY...this should be no surprise since I just posted that I wanted everyone to check out my birthday countdown that I recently added to my blog...The thing is after my birthday is over (in 17 days!!) I will start the countdown all over again for next year. Every month on the 3rd I happily announce to anybody I happen upon that it is (however many) months until my birthday. I have been known to celebrate my half birthday complete with cake and presents (even if only from me). And I associate almost everyone I meet and who is a part of my life with when they were born according to my birthday...and I NEVER EVER associate the fact that I am having a birthday means that I am getting-whisper-older. This does not cross my mind simply because, as you can also read from my blog profile, I do not think of my self as a grown up. I am still 18 and a freshman in college if you ask me...This may sound a little conceited or self centered, which it kind of is...but since I have been married and have children, any celebration of me that I can squeeze out of people is huge and hey I am important too.
Second- I rock at stuff...I had to use the word "stuff" here because there are so many things I can do which turn out pretty well that I am impressed and others have been impressed as well.. Take for instance the fact that after I conceded to go hunting with my husband a few years ago I killed my first deer with one shot and I was 5 months pregnant at the time. THEN the next year I went out and after ten minutes, I knocked down the biggest buck my husband has ever seen. And all the hooplah that went with that hunt was published in a huge hunting mag for a bunch of other inept hunters to cry over...I did not see the big deal and it was no sweat for me but apparently its a once in a lifetime kind of thing...
Okay what else...I can lay tile and grout like a pro. I can build a quilt in my sleep. (Like my phraseology like Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite?) I can build things with wood and a saw. I can organize anything you put in front of me without breaking a sweat...not literally but...I can teach my sign language class without any prep...okay now I just sound like a braggart. I am not that at all. I think it is hilarious that I can do any of these things. Well, except for the quilt one. Its not like I am passionate about any of it. It just happens.
Third-I have been told by many people throughout my life and I quote, "I can't help but to just look at you and smile." Yeah! Okay now those of you who know me, which would be all of you-I think, should know that this is sooo not me! In fact the last time I heard that...the new bishopric guy who was assigned to "meet" our family and give us callings said this...I told my husband later I wanted to shoot his head off. Nice huh? I know its like a total contradiction. I give off these angelic/girl-next-door/Molly vibes and its like a total veneer to the cynical and easily annoyed person that I am. I have a temper and I have to tell people off if they bug me and I have no patience. Yet all they see is blonde hair and blue eyes and a perma-smile (I was born smiling) and they just assume I am near-perfect. I do have an optimistic side I like to think the best of people but even it goes into hiding most of the time. So come on people...know the real me. I beg of you.
p.s. Note the title of this blog~"SMILE"~I meant it sarcastically.
Fourth- I am a cusser. This is something that started for me in high school and has stayed with me since. I did take an almost complete break from it while on my mission. But other than that I have had this~er, curse. There have been times when I have nearly stopped and then out of the blue it comes back...what they say about old habits is true. I do it without thought. That is the worst thing for me because I sometimes think I might have it conquered and then it slips and its like I didn't even know I said it until its already said. I hate to think that my kids will be able to say they learned the swear words at home...which is why I need to start trying to stop again. Its just a vicious cycle...
Fifth-I LOVE cleaning...I am just like Monica from "FRIENDS." which I also loved...Certain things like laundry and bathrooms I don't love to do but the end product is so satisfying...maybe because I am so thorough. I just love the process of taking something that is a mess of any sort and turning it around into order...I don't even mind doing this for other people...I have offered it to a few and some have taken me up on it. I don't mind...I like it when it fits into a schedule for me, but other than that I love to clean and organize. Its a therapy. I need therapy!
Sixth- I am OBSESSED with Hollywood. I love to read and buy the tabloid magazines and for a longtime I believed every word that was printed in them...That fantasy came to an end with Brangelina...I truly thought that Brad and Jen could make it work. Alas, I still read them and wonder what might alter some of the lost souls in Tinseltown and what the secrets are of those who just delivered a 10 pound kid and currently weigh 98 pounds. I like to see who is putting their houses up for sale and for how much and look at the pictures and always wonder why people with money want to have houses with more bathrooms than bedrooms. Britney Spears is a complete waste of space and yet I read to see what her latest idiotic outings have been sans children and panties...which grosses me out to the max. I wish I had been born famous. I mean there are some people in Hollywood as liberal as they are who it is not unfathomable to think I could have gone to them...Like Tom Selleck...and I don't know who he would have had a child with to produce me but he is conservative...Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell though, living in sin, are conservative-well Kurt is-and have been faithful to each other for over 20 years.
I saw something once about a girl who got to be the 'stand-in' for another actress. She would stand in and basically be a prop while the actress would learn or practice her lines in the trailer and then when they needed her they would switch...She just had to look a lot like the actress and she got paid and the glam life...I would love that. I could pass for Reese Witherspoon. I have no talent but I can stand in.
Well, that's me. Take it or leave it. Actually, please love me anyway. I love you all too!
p.s. I tag Megan (even if she only knows me) Sarah (if you have the time) Holly (if you haven't already done it...I can't remember)


Amy said...

You can clean my house whenever you want, Monica!

Holly said...

oh my there is the Monica we all know and love!!!! hahahaha!! I'll have to do this...once my household is no longer the infirmary!!!